Remember –
when you locked yourself in your room
you were not afraid to scream.
You were not afraid
to dig your fingers in your temples and pull –
see if your face would come off.
You were not afraid
to picture nothingness –
electric jolt wonder
when it ended up
giving you comfort.
You’re still here, child –
I never lost you,
we made it all the way to here
and we dropped the wish to implode.
Exposed in my hide-out
in this dust underworld of Eastern Europe
I am Persephone
in silent movie make-up
and acid wash jeans –
a perpetual cocoon,
I don’t wish for the butterfly –
in the butterfly there is no more room for change.
One by one,
my heroes have betrayed me,
left me with nothing but a mirror –
I see now that it holds the infinite.
I’m done looking for escape routes –
my mind is the plane and the passport,
my mind is the mothership.
Beneath dark vaults I pray for blindness,
Under electric light I ask for more weight.



UNRELATED NOTE: One of these days, I should really get moving and write the stories I’m supposed to be writing. I have a short story collection planned and have been procrastinating big time. I have no idea what I’ll do with it when it’s done, but I know for sure I’ll have a manuscript which I don’t have now. Maybe if I promise publicly to finish it, I will. OK, here goes – I promise to finish the stories I have left.


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